Flutterby & Fun...

Listening to:

"All Over You" by Live

Hey there all!

So let me start by openly admitting that I have not been a dedicated blogger, I know...fail. I apologize! The last month has been a very busy, stressful one.

Those that know me, know that for the last few months I have had two blogs. One for my personal use (this one) & one for my photography. I have been very torn with this for two reasons: when I blog it's aways about things in my life & it's always a little bit about who I am. Well being a photographer is a HUGE part of who I am. So I can't ever seem to decide which blog goes on what page. So...after much internal arguing I have decided that photography is as much a part of my life as any other aspect & I am moving ALL of my blogging to my personal blog (this one).

It's prettier.

=)

Okay...now on to the fun stuff!

Dear readers this blog finds me in the beautiful District of Columbia!

(being a big sister is awesome)

Let me tell you this; I have a penchant for history, excellent food, & adventure so naturally I could not be happier to be here! In a city with a million museums, monuments, & restaurants what ever did I do today? Well I went to the Smithsonian & ate a ton of food of course!

By the way, if I haven't said this before let me say it now. I - Love - The - Metro. Why does Oklahoma not have some sort of public transportation of this nature? Ugh. I love reading while heading from point A to point B for less than 3 bucks.

Plus they're just kind of neat looking!

Anyways...

We headed to the Smithsonian for a look around.

I found the majority of the exhibits pretty interesting, what's not to love about a place with a giant elephant in the entry, right?

My mom & little brother had a good time too!

We watched a man work on 5 million (or was it billion?) year old bones...

(In case you are wondering I totally stood there for a good 30 minutes snapping pics of this guy nice & awkward like.)

We read all about the development of different crystals

And even checked out some of the world's most killer jewelry

Then I noticed these large fake butterflies upstairs...

Now generally I'm not much of a butterfly & frills girl, but my curiosity was piqued. So I had to see what it was all about.

I walked into the corridor only to see a strange pod over taking the majority of the room and signs about conservation everywhere. I'm all about that conservation business...ya know...I... recycle.

After reading all the signs & talking to the ladies at the desk it becomes clear that this is a LIVING butterfly exhibit.

(It's like they knew I was coming or something)

Talk about cool.

Well hot.

No seriously...like a tropical jungle inside a building.

Literally.

They had a complete jungle set up including hot steam!

(come see butterflies, get a free facial...new ad campaign?)

This must have been one of the neatest things I have gotten to do.

Ever.

Big BEAUTIFUL butterflies & moths...

some the size of my hand just flitting about, chilling out, & eating!

There were so many different species.

So many different colors!

Talk about a nature photographer's dream...

I just couldn't stop clicking away!

One even took a liking to me =)

All in all I had a wonderful day & am just tickled with the shots that I walked away with!

What started as a museum trip ended as a photo safari...

no complaints here!

I can't wait to see what tomorrow has in store!

=)

P.S. Stay tuned for a blog about the awesome bridals I am shooting here:

Signing Out,

Your Flutterby Loving Free Spirit

=)

Rebecca & Cory (Engaged)

Listening to:

"The Face" by Kings of Leon

Hello all!

It's been a bit busy here lately, but I wanted to get out a much over due blog!

We have some catching up to do!

Back in the Spring I had the pleasure of shooting some engagement photos for a really awesome couple,

Rebecca Smith & Cory Miller.

I went to high school with Rebecca so it was really an honor for me to be included in this next phase in her life!

We had a beautiful (albeit sweltering) shoot in the middle of an Oklahoma summer. Rebecca & Cory handled it like absolute troopers the whole way on our two mile hike in the heat!

We wound up with some absolutely gorgeous shots though!

After a few months of growth (and a nice cool down temperature wise) we decided to go ahead and shoot some more in the beautiful fall weather. Needless to say the conditions were much, MUCH nicer! =)

I traveled to Weatherford where the happy couple live & had the pleasure of photographing them in their natural habitat.

(how National Geographic of me, ne?)

We even got to shoot at a very special location to the couple:

The intramural softball field where not only did they meet,

but where Cory popped the question! =)

Rebecca & her sister Rachel even took the time to do some awesome location scouting for me ahead of time, and I have to say ladies...

I was SO impressed!

(Best assistants ever, yup.)

We had a long afternoon running the country side of Weatherford ragged, but we kept it lively of course.

They even fed me!

(The true way to my heart lol)

With sister Rachel & Momma Smith on board we couldn't go wrong.

My 'assistants' hard at work lol. Dance Party in the road?

Why not. For anyone who knows Rachel

...it was to be expected.

Well, all in all I just wanted to thank Rebecca & Cory for hosting me in their town and for giving me the opportunity to shoot them again! =)

I'm dying to post more,

but I can't have all the fun I suppose =(

It was a blast,

Congratulations to....

...The Future Millers ;)

I'll be seeing you soon!

I can't wait for the Bridals & the Wedding!! =)

Samantha Evans {Maternity}

Listening to:

"Be Careful" - Patty Griffin

First Glance:

As a photographer (and a person) we all develop favorites...I have to say one of mine is maternity sessions! Recently I had the pleasure of shooting an absolutely beautiful mother to be & good friend of mine...Miss Samantha Evans! =)

Samantha (or Littlepants as I call her) and I go back a ways to when we modeled together =).

I have had the greatest pleasure of seeing her life progress between calendars, Big Macs, bike washes, road trips, Starbucks, bikini shoots, and now....

on to mother hood.

We really cut it close, shooting exactly a week before her due date!

Poor Samantha was such a trooper, trekking through fields....

Relaxing in the park...

Playing at the playground....

Samantha is gorgeous no matter which way you slice it!

Ever the perfect model!

Just lovely...

We even dragged daddy to be (poor Michael) into a few too!

Well, it's going to be a short 5 days you two!

Congrats to both Samantha & Michael, Bentley is

going to be a beautiful baby boy!

I absolutely can't wait to take his newborn pics VERY soon!

=)

& It Comes on the Rain...

Listening to:

"Kylie"-William Fitzsimmons

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Today...was a terrible day.

Actually if you wanna get down to it, it's been a pretty rough month.

Hell...ya know what?

Let's be completely honest...it's been a bad 1 year, 1 month, & 23 days.

There. I said it.

Raise your hand if you feel the same way. Go ahead, don't be shy...there ya go.

It seems to me like every time I think I've got it figured out, every time I find something that truly makes me happy... *BAM* it doesn't work out. Ever. As a matter of fact we should start a pool on how long things take to come crashing down around my feet...at least maybe I'd win some money out of the deal!

That's right folks, this is one of -those- blogs & I just became -that- girl. Fabulous.

Hey... little known fact: I always get a few flames whenever I write about my personal life. Let me apologize to those people. Normally I ignore you, but today I will address you. Sadly, I am a real person & shit happens...no, really..no joke. Okay, a little more seriously... I do it because it's how I feel & what I feel strongly enough about at that time to put in to writing. If I wrote about anything else at that very moment, it would be disingenuous. If you don't care to read that material...then you should have stopped about 6 lines ago when I warned you.

That said...

Like any person, when I am having a rough go of it I turned to a friend. I could not talk to my usual -amazing- sounding board (you know, that friend you turn to talk to about ANYTHING b/c they are your numero uno...you totally just mentally bounced to that person) My substitute friend was a failure at being helpful lol. Said friend proceeded to tell me all the things I am good at...my nine million hobbies. It's true, I have about a million hobbies...know why? To keep my mind off all the things that I can't keep together that actually matter.

A-ha moment, nay?

So said friend and I talk as I sit on the porch in the rain. I start telling him the ways I am trying to narrow down what it will take to get my life on the right track & how people that I really admire & respect have been really giving me great guidance. I tell him all kinds of things about this past week and after about 30 minutes of rambling I pause. There is a brief silence and suddenly he says, " You are just too deep for a girl, damn. You think too much."

My first though? I'm thinking I picked the wrong substitute sounding board.

My second thought? Hey, buddy, the 1800s called...they want their mentality back.

My third thought? Maybe he's right.

Well dear reader guess what?

The Good News: I have picked a career, photographer 'til the death! And.....I picked a degree (finally). Did you hear that? That loud whooshing sound? Yeah that's the sound of my immense number of family members breathing a huge sigh of relief.

The Bad News: Don't lie...you knew it was coming. I am seriously beginning to lose faith in people.

It's pathetic. And jaded. And true.

Talk is cheap & people can't be relied on.

Period.

I know you dear reader. Your first reaction is to disagree vehemently. You can't help yourself, it's a knee jerk reaction...no one wants to believe that anyone else can lose that much faith. You're thinking, "No! People aren't THAT bad!" or "Not EVERYONE is like that!"

But as you wait about 2.5 seconds, or about 8 words later....

your mind has already betrayed you.

Admit it...you are doing it right. now. You are thinking about that person who told you one thing & meant another. Or that person who double crossed you. Maybe it's the one that screwed you over & then stabbed you in the back. Or maybe it's the person who just up and changed their mind on you & left you hanging...

Whatever or whoever it is, was it worth it? Now, all the Positive Pattys out there are mentally shouting, "YES! Yes it IS!"

NOTE:

These are all the people who are either in happy relationships, amazing careers, orrrr just got a fat inheritance.

Personally, I immediately discredit.

I guess all I'm saying is how many broken roads (ie bad decisions, poor judgement in people...) does a girl have to stumble down before someone gives her a dang road map?! or a compass? Hell, I'd even settle for star navigation lessons!

I sat on the porch tonight in the rain.

It was lovely.

Just trying to grasp something that would sort the thoughts in my head...some way to not think. I watched the lightening tear across the sky running from the rumble of the thunder.

I envied it.

For those of you who don't know me well enough...I'm a bit of a flight risk. For all of a minute I seriously considered jumping in the car and taking a road trip to clear my head. I hear New Mexico is nice this time of year. I wanted to tear across the road running from all the stress of the last year just like the lightening ran from the thunder.

And then I didn't.

That's right. For the first time in my life, I didn't want to be the lightening tearing across the sky. I wanted to be the rain pouring steadily down to it's own beat. Huh, maybe there's hope for me yet. Who'd have ever thunk it?

This might seem like a small shift to most. Trust me, it's not. Not for a person like me. Perhaps I have been going at everything all wrong. Either way, I have challenged myself with two new personal goals. One, to clean house. If you think about it, chances are you should too. Get rid of the toxic people in your life...they will drag you down. Believe me. Two, make a valid attempt to focus on the people & things that people have done to make me want to keep the faith. Right now, I have zero.

You know what's tragic about not being able to trust anyone wholly?

It's lonely.

Being the over thinker that I am, I am sitting here at my computer still dwelling. Dwelling on the last blog I wrote, dwelling on all the people that have made me lose faith. Everyone from the very first long ago, to the very most hurtful, to the most recent final straw. I am thinking about all the people that I have watched get burned by other people. Maybe there's a few I burned myself. Was it selfish? Maybe there's more to each time someone does something to make another faithless... maybe there's not. Who knows?

For the rest of the faithless out there...I just want to leave you with this: Maybe you should give cleaning house and a change of perspective a shot too?

Maybe at the end of the day we should all just treat each other a little better every day.

All I really know is...

I don't ever want to make another human being feel like this.

Well dear reader...

I'm not gonna hold my breath for my level of faith,

but I will drop an extra penny in the well for the rest of you.

Signing out,

Your Faithless Free Spirit.

P.S. This is why I am an animal person & not a people person.

Polaroid a Day

Listening to:

"Alone" (acoustic) -Ben Harper

Hey all! Long time no see...erm read?

I've been a bit busy. That's as good of an excuse as I can come up with (sorry).

In the past two weeks I have had three friends write me & tell me they are trying to start their own blogs...if that isn't the universe telling me to get back on the ball I don't know what it is ;)

That said...

Recently an extremely talented photographer (Joshua Cole) tweeted about a blog and how amazing it was. Being the curious ( *cough* nosy *cough*) person that I am...I had to check it out! What I saw really blew my mind.

The blog was about a random man. Just like any other man...only not.

This man took a polaroid photo every day of his life.

Sometimes his photos were obscure, artistic. I was captivated...

The photos go on... he took an astronomical amount...

You always hear people say, " a picture is worth a thousand words". It's true. You can learn so much about someone from their photos.

Throughout the trail you see how he is a musician, all the good times he has with his friends, the successes he has with independent film....they are timelessly captured on little squares.

On May 2, 2007 something bad has happened.

Two days later we learn it is cancer.

Can you imagine?

There is something about watching a complete stranger's life through his own photos that is so...intimate.

On October 5, 1997 the photographer's intentions are clear...

Two days later they are married...

A few weeks later finds our guy in the hospital once again, October 24, 1997.

The next day our photographer dies.

The artsy photos that captured my eye ended so close to home for me. I'm not sure why, maybe it was his love of photography. Maybe it was his polaroid fixation? Maybe it was seeing him go through the ups and downs through his very own eyes?

Who was this man? We know he played the accordion, he laughed, he loved...

His name was Jamie Livingston. He took a polaroid picture everyday for 18 years...until October 25, 1997 when he died at the age of 41.

He called the project "Photo of the Day"..it was his passion.

He used a Polaroid SX-70..it was his tool.

He used his vision...it is his legacy.

I remember sitting there after spending hours going through the complete collection of photos just being stricken. A man who only spent 17 days married to the woman he loved & only 41 years on this earth, but he left the world 6,697 polaroid pictures to remember him by.

So dear readers my question to you today is this...

What will you leave behind?

Will you have enough laughs? Will you spend more than 17 days with the one you love? Will you waste your days (which may be few) in misery...or will you leave behind more?

The choice is yours.

Signing out,

Your Fervent Free Spirit

XOXO

** You can view the entire collection at http://photooftheday.hughcrawford.com/ ....I really recommend it.